


Stupid Winchester

by orphan_account



Series: The Inevitable Fall [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Homophobic Language, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, M/M, Whump, sighs for a million years
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-30
Updated: 2013-10-04
Packaged: 2017-12-06 23:09:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/741256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stupid Winchester.<br/>Or to be more specific, stupid Dean Winchester; it’s entirely his fault. Him and his stupid smile, and those stupidly green eyes, and his stupid laugh, and those stupidly pink lips, and his stupid perfect face. Don’t even get me started on that stupid southern accent that slips out sometimes when he talks; damn thing has me hanging on his every word. But you know what is worse, the fact that Dean doesn't even notice what he does to me, or he’s just really good at hiding it.  The first time Dean ever smiled at me, I thought I was dying.  No seriously, I was drinking some orange juice at lunch and then next thing I knew Dean was smiling at me and I ended up nearly coughing to death. Luckily, I didn't die, that would have been really embarrassing. Also, It turned out that I wasn't the person who he was smiling at either, isn't my life just peachy.<br/>This is the story of how I, Castiel Novak, became friends with Dean Winchester and proceeded to make a complete fucking fool of myself. Repeatedly. [DISCONTINUED]<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Epilogue

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I've been pretty AWOL with the drabbles but it was because i was working on something that i think has a better chance. Low and behold.... Stupid Winchester. I'd like to thank all those late nights, ramen cup-o-noodles, the internet, Cas and Deans' chemistry, and Tumblr for this opportunity.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.

Stupid Winchester.

Or to be more specific, stupid Dean Winchester; it’s entirely his fault. Him and his stupid smile, and those stupidly green eyes, and his stupid laugh, and those stupidly pink lips, and his stupid perfect face. Don’t even get me started on that stupid southern accent that slips out sometimes when he talks; damn thing has me hanging on his every word. But you know what is worse, the fact that Dean doesn't even notice what he does to me, or he’s just really good at hiding it. The first time Dean ever smiled at me, I thought I was dying. No seriously, I was drinking some orange juice at lunch and then next thing I knew Dean was smiling at me and I ended up nearly coughing to death. Luckily, I didn’t die that would have been really embarrassing. Also, It turned out that I wasn't the person who he was smiling at either, isn't my life just peachy.  
Dean is basically the epitome of perfect. Sadly, Dean is also the epitome of everything I can’t have. It’s a really boring and long story, but to sum it up in just a few words it’d be: Dean is perfect and straight. I’m…well I’m me. Yeah, that’s about it actually. Trust me I know how damn cliche it is to fall in love with your straight best friend, but if I would have known it would end up like this, I probably wouldn't go back in time and change anything. 

This is the story of how I, Castiel Novak, became friends with Dean Winchester and proceeded to make a complete fucking fool of myself.

Repeatedly.


	2. First Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i appreciate all the kudos, it means so much. Yeah um, this chapter could have been better but i'm still getting the jist of things. I promise next chapter will be better, longer, and doesn't look like i wrote it at 3 am (which is exactly what happened).

(Ok, technically it wasn’t the first time I’d met Dean; but it was the first time he’d ever talked to me. Basically, it’s the same thing.)

“Castiel, it’s time for school! Get the hell up!” Lucifer yelled banging on the bedroom door. ‘Just ten more minutes,’ Cas thought to himself. “Castiel, wake the hell up before you’re late!” ‘Why does he have to yell so damn loud? ‘.

“Luc shut up! I’m up already!” Cas grumbled pushing the covers off of himself. He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He sat there for a few moments trying to blink himself awake. All it did was make him even more tired, slowly he started drifting back to sleep. He’d never fallen asleep sitting up, but there was a first for everything.

“Cas, I know you’re still sleeping!” Lucifer yelled through the bedroom door, jerking Cas awake in the process. Why is it so hard to get some sleep in this damn house? Cas slowly rose from bed and walked into the bathroom connected to his room; dragging his feet the whole way there. He got undressed and climbed into the shower. The water sprayed down on his skin, warming him up in the process. Castiel quickly washed his hair and other necessary things. Castiel climbed out of the shower, wrapped a towel around his waist, and headed into his room in search for some clothes. When he found some that were suitable, he finished up his morning routine and headed down the stairs.

“…took you long enough.” Lucifer mumbled under his breath as he took a sip of some orange juice.

“Shut up.” Castiel said as he walked past the kitchen and out the front door, not eating breakfast like usual.

“Love you too!”

Castiel wasn’t even five minutes into his walk to school when he had dug his iPod out of his pocket, and began scrolling through the songs. He decided on one, and put the earphones in his ears. He liked music better than solitude.

‘ _I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose_  
 _Fire away, fire away_  
 _Ricochet, you take your aim_  
 _Fire away, fire away_  
 _You shoot me down but I won't fall_  
 _I am titanium_  
 _You shoot me down but I won't fall_  
 _I am titani_ -‘

“Hey fag!” Castiel stopped momentarily, thinking out all the scenarios in his head, then deciding to run like hell. He could hear them running behind them. He turned to see how close they were to catching up to him. Close as dicks would be an understatement. Castiel turned back around right before slamming directly into someone’s chest. Sending him falling back, landing straight on his ass, which hurt like a bitch.

“Shit dude I’m sorry!” said a voice somewhere above him. He looked up to see him, _Dean_ fucking  _Winchester_  This was just not his day today. Castiel was surprised to see a hand shoot out in front of him, offering him a hand up. “Are you ok? I didn’t see you. Holy shit. I feel really bad now. Fuck.” But Cas couldn’t hear him with all the thoughts swimming around in his head, and the ringing in his ears didn’t help either. He absently grabbed Dean’s hand, being pulled up to a standing position.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” Dean blinked, staring at him, very intensely he might add.

“I asked if you were okay. Are those guys chasing you or something?” Dean asked suspiciously. Fuck, he forgot about them. Quick, think of something.

Shit.

And that is exactly how they ended up in the principle office, three of the five of them facing suspension. Raphael, Alastair, and Zachariah sporting a variety of wounds that were bleeding, as they got chewed out by Mr. Singer, and Dean looking damn proud of himself.


	3. The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god you guys you don't know how sorry I am! As soon as First Encounter was posted I was suppose to post another chapter the week after (closer to the end of Spring Break) but then I ended up going home for a funeral so I was gone for an extra week, and i literally didn't get back here until Sunday morning and then had to go to school on Monday (THIS Monday to be exact)! I apologize and I hope you enjoy this chapter. YAY FOR PLOT DEVELOPMENT!

Castiel’s first instinct was to run, run and pretend all of this never happened. And of course, that’s exactly what he did.

Or at least tried to anyway.

“Cas! Wait up!” Dean shouted as he jogged to try and keep up with Castiel. Castiel ignored Dean, of course it was hard, but it had to be done. “Cas, what the hell is wrong with you man?” Dean said angrily as he snatched Cas’ sleeve, spinning Cas around to face him. ‘ _Why can’t you just leave me alone?’_ Cas thought bitterly to himself.

“Nothing is _wrong_ with me Dean. Look, I appreciate what you did back there, you saved me, but I really don’t need any extra attention. I have enough on my plate thank you very much.” Castiel said swiftly, hoping the sooner he got the point across, the quicker he could leave and get to class. Clearly that wasn’t going to be happening.

“What do you mean ‘extra attention’?” Dean demanded, emerald eyes searching for some type of clue as to what the hell Castiel was talking about.

“I mean,” Castiel took a deep shaky breathe,” I...I mean you’re popular and when you’re popular you draw more attention to yourself than anyone else; I already deal with those jackasses on a daily bases, I don’t need more added to the bunch. I’m not some fucking charity case to help boost your self confidence, “Oh why not go save the kid that’s picked on all the time, maybe it’ll get me some more recognition!” You’re just like the rest of them. So if you would kindly _let go_ of my jacket, I’d very much appreciate it.” Castiel said shakily, tugging his jacket from Dean’s grip. Or at least that’s what he had attempted anyway.

“Oh my god, what in the actual _fuck_ is wrong with you? You think I helped you back there as some way to make me feel better about myself? Are you fucking serious? And here I was thinking you were one of the smart ones! Cas, I helped you back there because it was the right thing to do. I did that because it’s not right what they do to you. Hell I did that because...because...I actually give two shit’s about your safety! I care about you Cas!” Dean said voice cracking as he finished, face flushed, but not an ounce of regret on his face.

Castiel stood stock still. Hell, it took him a few moments just to figure out if he was still breathing. But who could blame him?

“I...um...I don’t know what to say to that.” Castiel mumbled unsurely. His brain was still a fried mess, processing something along the lines of ‘OMFG DEAN SAID HE CARES ABOUT ME!? HOLY SHIT! IS HE SERIOUS?! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! DEAN YOU’RE SO FUCKING STUPID!”

“Well for starters, you could apologize for accusing me of being some selfish asshole.” Dean started with a smirk tugging at his lips. “And then you could tell me you’ll get over whatever this resentment you have towards me and let me help you; let me be your friend, let me care about you.” As cliché as it sounds, hearing those words come from someone like Dean Winchester made it hard for Castiel to swallow, and let a little spark of hope and something unknown plant itself inside his heart.

“I, um, I’m sorry Dean.” Castiel whispered, cheeks heating up with embarrassment. Dean just has that effect on him.

“And...?” Dean encouraged, smile playing on his lips.

“And I’ll...um...I’ll let you be my friend and care about me and all that other sappy stuff that you said.” Castiel replied nervously. However, the more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. A friend here and there wouldn’t be so bad. And besides, Dean is good company...right?

“Good!” Dean exclaimed, re-leasing Castiel’s sleeve only to wrap his arm around his shoulders. The sudden warmth made Castiel shiver, but Dean seemed to pay no mind. “So what do you have right now?”

What is he talking about? Castiel wondered. Then it hit him. They were a little late to third period, and by a little he meant about 20 minutes or so.

“Oh fuck!” Castiel said rather loudly, the words echoing through the empty hall. When did that happen?

“Oh it doesn’t matter; we’re going to lunch in like,” Dean looked to the clock above a set of lockers, “15 minutes. We might as well just spend the time getting to know each other or whatever it is that new friends do.”

By the time the class dismissal bell rang, Dean and Castiel knew a lot about each other. Castiel found out that Dean has a younger brother, Sam that he practically is raising on his own. He knows that Sam and Dean’s mom died in a house fire when Sam was little. He also knows that Dean absolutely loves pie, his baby (a black 1967 Chevrolet Impala), classic rock, western movies, and Dr. Sexy. Dean however, probably knows a little bit more about Castiel then he knows about Dean. Dean knows how he lives with his second oldest brother, Lucifer. He knows that Castiel doesn’t remember what his dad looks like, how he’s been bullied since elementary, and about Castiel’s anxiety. He also knows how Castiel absolutely loves cheeseburgers, reading, and British television. Not to mention music, photography, and tea.

By the end of it all, Castiel feels a lot more calm and comfortable around Dean. He’s really starting to warm up to Dean and his snarky comments. Castiel just can’t seem to grasp most of the pop culture references he uses though, it’s something they can work on. Dean’s words not his.

Somewhere real deep down, Castiel knows this will be more than he bargained for, but he knows it’ll all be worth it in the end.


	4. My Psyche Is Against Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like usual, i took forever to update. I'm trying! Please don't hate me! :( I got so frustrated writing this chapter. Hopefully my writing is getting better! I think I've grown a lot with my writing, not just this story. This chapter was like a little longer than two pages on Word. I'm trying to make longer chapters, I really am! I hope you like it!

Dean had let out a small hiss when they fell over the arm of the couch, but as soon as it happened he was re-attaching his lips to Castiel’s. The couch was way too small, but that was the least of their concerns. They were too wrapped up in the moment, the room was getting smaller, and it seemed harder to breathe, but none of that mattered. Cas let out a low moan when Dean tugged on his hair, the little noises Cas was making was driving Dean crazy. Cas was devouring everything Dean threw at him, he couldn’t seem to get enough of the things Dean was able to do with his tongue. Dean was pulling at Cas’ hair and Cas was straddling Dean and practically coming apart right in front of him, and Dean couldn’t deny that it was the hottest thing he had ever experienced. Pretty soon Dean was pulling off his shirt and Castiel was following right behind, and the kiss was broken for the first time in a long time.

“Dean, this is so not fair.” Cas said when Dean started kissing and biting his way down Cas’ neck. Cas moaned particularly loud when Dean finally came to his collar bone, Dean letting out a soft chuckle in the process.

“I thought you were enjoying this.” Dean replied as he licked his way back up to Cas’ jaw. Cas shivered and bit his lip in his attempt to stop all the obscene noises coming from his mouth, he couldn’t let Dean win. Cas pushed Dean back so that Dean fell against the armrest. This was war. Cas leaned down to kiss Dean, tongue searching, and working its way around Dean’s mouth. Cas slowly started grinding against Dean, rolling his hips in a way that made Dean let out a groan and toss his head back against the arm rest. Dean was panting and grabbing Cas’ hips, his nails digging into the skin. Cas smirked as he kissed down Dean’s neck, one hand pulling at Dean’s hair as the other slowly trailed down to Dean’s erec-

Cas sat straight up; breathe shallow, hair plastered to his forehead, and alarm clock blaring. It was a dream, a very hot, very real, _dream_. Cas had never had so much hatred towards his alarm clock until right now. He reached over to his night stand to hit the damn snooze button, anger slowly subsiding. Cas let out a groan as he got up to walk to the bathroom to take a shower and deal with his _problem_ ; and if he thought about Dean the whole time, then that’s for him to know and Dean to never find out about.  

Cas tried his best to forget about his dream, but it refused to eject its self from his brain. Cas sighed in anger during his walk to school. By the time Castiel actually got there, things went from bad to worse.

“Hey.” Dean said walking to him as soon as Cas reached the front steps of the school. All chances of Cas acting normal had completely flown the fuck away.

“Uh... hey Dean...” Cas stuttered awkwardly, instantly cursing himself as soon as he noticed the look Dean was giving him.

“Cas, you okay?” Dean asked worriedly, putting a hand on Cas’ shoulder as some sort of attempt in making Cas feel better. It didn’t work; it just made Cas feel even more awkward.

“Yeah, why do you ask?” Cas said, trying to sound convincing but obviously failing.

“I don’t know, you just seem...off.” Dean replied unsurely. Luckily the bell rang before Dean could say anything else. They parted ways to go and get their stuff for their first period. Two periods later, and Cas completely hated himself, bits and pieces of this mornings’ dream filtered in and out of his head. Cas may not like math or anything having to do with his teacher, but he was happily taking notes and the last thing he needed was an image of him grinding on Dean’s lap. Eventually the bits and pieces faded from Cas’ current thoughts and he was able to focus on his work, of course until Dean had to go and rain on his parade. Cas looked up to look at the clock above the door, only to see Dean gesturing through the tiny window trying to get his attention. Cas shook his head no, he was already failing math, and he couldn’t afford to miss any more lessons. But Dean and his puppy dog eyes were more convincing then he’d like to admit. ‘ _Son of a bitch’,_ Cas thought to himself as he raised his hand. Soon enough he was out the class and walking down the hallway with Dean as if it was something he did every day.

“May I ask why you decided to make me leave class, or is it apart of some master plan to kidnap me, and get some kind of ransom from my brother?” Cas asked sarcastically.

“That’s only for me to know, sorry.” Dean retorted, smirking. Cas let out what sounded like a giggle, and right then and there decided he was giving up on trying to not be so fucking weird, it clearly wasn’t working out. Dean’s smirk formed into a full blown smile then laughter, in a matter of seconds. The sound bounced around in the empty halls and seemed to fill Cas with some emotion he couldn’t put a name to.

“So where are we going anyway?” Cas asked with mock suspicion, he already had an idea forming his way into his head.

“I figured we could walk to get something to eat, today’s chili day.” Cas shivered, don’t get him wrong the food here was good; but the chili was terrible. It’s been a running contest between all the grades to see what is actually in it, so far no one has gotten it right.

“I knew there was a reason I liked you, saving me from terrible food and math class, high five!” Cas stated sarcastically but still raising his hand anyway. Dean’s smile was sincere, and seemed to brighten his eyes. _‘My god I am hopeless.’_ Cas thought to himself. The silence was nice as they finally walked out one of the back doors of the school, and cut through the track field.

“So...um...Cas can I ask you a question?” Dean asked unsurely. Usually so full of confidence, Dean being nervous kind of shocked Castiel; but Dean is human, so it shouldn’t be so hard to believe.

“Dean what is it?” Castiel replied, a scenario of questions popped into his head all at once; but the chances of Dean declaring his love for Castiel in front of 15 people in a fast food place, was slim to none.

“I was wondering...if maybe you wanted to hang out or something after school, if you weren’t busy or anything.” Dean said, fiddling with his jacket in the process. _‘Oh my god, oh my fucking god, did Dean just ask me to hang out with him after school? Oh my go-‘_ Castiel immediately stopped thinking about the situation, he sounded like a 13 year old girl getting asked on a date. If anything, he was a mature 14 year old girl.

“Yeah, I’d love to! When and where?” Castiel asked beaming with excitement , showing just how happy he was to hang out with Dean.

“If it wasn’t too soon, I was thinking today around four.” Dean replied, a small smile playing on his lips. Castiel felt like he couldn’t stop smiling, today wasn’t as bad as he thought it was going to be.

“Perfect, I’ll be there.”

“Good, I can’t wait.”

He was so screwed.


	5. A Little Bit of Bonding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4 months and a hell of a lot of procrastinating later, THE NEXT CHAPTER. I'm sooooooooooooooooooo sorry, like you don't even know. Luckily enough, I was able to finish the chapter and upload it today. Saturdays are just one of the THREE days i upload a chapter of SW. I'm going to start writing for this story on Mondays, and uploading: Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. I like the way this one turned out. And now, the long awaited and put off chapter, ENJOY!

Castiel was screwed, utterly, hopelessly, terrifyingly screwed. He let out a shaky breath, checking to see how ridiculous he looked in the mirror. ‘You’ll be fine, it’s not a date; you’re just going over to his house to play video games or whatever.’ A voice said, which sounded oddly enough, like the lead singer of a band he’s listened to way too many times. ‘Yeah, where you’ll probably be alone in, hell you might even go in his bedroom’ another voice chimed in. Just his luck, as soon as he calms down; he’s freaking out all over again. “Oh my god, would you please stop fiddling with your clothes, you look fine; now go before he thinks you bailed on him.” Luc says as Castiel turned to see him standing in the doorway. Castiel sighed, looked himself over once more, mumbled a goodbye to his brother, and left the house. Castiel was surprised to find out that Dean’s house wasn’t that far from his, a little bit out of walking distance, but close nonetheless. Castiel tried to calm his nerves as he parked his car across the street from Dean’s home. “You can do this; it’s not a big deal,” Castiel muttered to himself. ‘Here goes nothing’ Castiel thought as he finally worked up the courage to ring the doorbell.

Holy shit, holy fucking shit.

“Hey Cas,” Dean said as he opened the front door, barefooted and wearing nothing but a pair of fitted jeans and a towel draped over his head: tale-tale signs of Dean Winchester fresh out the shower.

“H-hey D-Dean,” Cas stuttered, trying his best to quit looking at Dean’s chest, or that drop of water that was slowly making its way from his collar bone...all the way to the band of his jeans.

“Come inside,” Dean said cheerfully, opening the door wide enough to let Castiel through. “So do you want to get some food and head up to my room?” Dean asked.

“Oh, um, yeah,” Castiel replied nervously. ‘God I’m so dumb, you sound like an idiot, stop stuttering!’ Castiel thought to himself. He tried to not look disappointed when Dean grabbed his shirt off of the back of a chair, throwing it on quickly, and walking into the kitchen.

“Hey are you okay?” Dean asked, as he gathered some bags of chips from the cabinet and a couple of sodas from the fridge. Castiel looked up to see Dean’s eyes boring into his, worry evident in them.

“Y-yeah I’m fine, why?” Castiel mumbled, choosing to pick at the hem of his sweater than look at Dean. He looks at Dean enough anyway, it’s not like he doesn’t know every expression on that face.

“I don’t know, you look...nervous or something.” Dean huffed, setting the food down on the counter. “You do know that you have nothing to be nervous about...right?” Dean asked as he took a step forward, placing himself directly in front of Castiel. “Cas, look at me, please” Dean says, all but pleading. Cas slowly raises his eyes from his eyes from his forever interesting shoes, to look Dean right in the eyes. It’s not like he really had a choice in the first place. “Tell me what’s wrong,” Dean insists, green eyes still focused on his. “And be honest, you can’t have friendship without honesty.”  ‘Damn it,’ Castiel thinks to himself.

“It’s just...” Castiel started, not exactly sure where this was going, “It’s just that I’m kind of new to this whole best friend thing, you know?” Castiel finishes lamely. ‘God you are pathetic, really? You just _had_ to tell him that!” The voice in the back of his head exclaimed. Dean let out a shaky breath, relief flashing in his eyes.

“Don’t worry, you’re in good hands.” Dean says, a smile spreading across his face. “Come on, let’s go upstairs.” Dean grabbed the chips, leaving the sodas for Cas to take, and led them upstairs. “That’s the bathroom, that’s Sam’s room, and this is my room.” Dean says, pointing accordingly. “Hey do you mind opening the door? I kind of don’t want to spill all the chips.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Castiel says, rushing to open the bedroom door while trying to not drop the cans of soda. They quickly set the food and drinks down on the floor, happy to not have their hands full anymore. Dean sets up the PlayStation while Castiel examines the room. Band posters litter the walls, an unmade king sized bed pushed against one wall, and a rather unorganized computer desk pushed against the other by the window. Castiel cautiously walked close to the window sill, noticing the family photos placed in neat picture frames. Some were of Dean, some of Sam, some of Sam and Dean together, and others with a face he didn’t recognize.

“That was my mom, Mary.” Dean said from beside Castiel, nearly scaring him half to death.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to snoop or anything, I was just-“

“It’s okay, Cas,” Dean laughed.

“Your mom is beautiful,” Castiel replied, looking a little closer at the picture. “You look just like her.” Castiel said. It was true, same smile, same freckles, everything. Dean cleared his throat.

“Thanks Cas, means a lot.” Cas looked up, noticing the waver in Dean’s voice. His eyes were glazed over, a sad smile on his face.

“Dean, are you-“

 

“Y-yeah Cas I’m fine, um, how about them video games?” Dean asked, quickly turning around and walking back to the food and PlayStation.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cas couldn’t breathe, his sides were killing him, tears streaming down his face. Dean was relentlessly beating him with a pillow that he must have gotten while Cas was laying on his side. “Cas it’s not funny!” Dean wailed, hitting Cas more when he started laughing harder.

“You should h-have seen y-your f-face!” Cas wheezed out.

“That was embarrassing, don’t laugh!” Dean repeated for what must have been the tenth time in the past ten minutes. They’d given up on playing Grand Theft Auto after realizing how terrible Cas was, and taken to playing shitty pop music that came on the radio. That was until Dean decided he wanted to serenade Castiel, jumping onto his bed and singing the lyrics to some Ke$ha song at Castiel.

“You know this song?” Castiel asked, surprised.

“Of course I do, who doesn’t?” Dean smirked, continuing to badly serenade Cas. Complete with pointing, and bad dancing. That was, until he fell off the bed in a flail of arms and a less then dignified squeak. Castiel wasn’t sure who hit the floor first, but he’s been laughing ever since. Castiel slowly sat up, red-faced from all his laughter. Dean huffed and muttered something that sounded like a ‘finally, it wasn’t even that funny’.

“Are you done laughing at me now?” Dean asked, fake annoyance in his voice. Castiel shook his head, a fit of giggles erupting from him.

“You screamed like a girl!” Castiel exclaimed.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Dean said.

“Yeah, sure you don’t.” Cas wasn’t sure what happened. One moment he’s laughing at Dean for screaming like a girl, and the next he’s pinned down wheezing for breath because Dean is relentlessly tickling his sides.

“Say uncle!” Dean exclaims, continuing to attack Cas’ sides. “Say it and I’ll let you go, I promise.”

“N-never,” Cas wheezes, squirming trying to get away from Dean, but to no avail.

“Come on Cas! I’ll let you go, just say uncle!”

“O-okay, okay” Cas cries, red-faced and out of breath.

“What was that? Sorry I couldn’t hear you.” Dean laughs out.

“Uncle! I said uncle you assbutt,” Castiel all but screams. To his surprise, Dean quits tickling him almost immediately. Dean’s chuckling and looking down, happiness evident in his eyes. Castiel is trying to catch his breath, hoping his face isn’t red anymore. When Cas finally looks up at Dean again, he realizes that he’s still being pinned to the ground. His breathing hitches a little, but Dean doesn’t seem to notice. The smile has slipped from his face, and he seems to be in deep thought.

“Dea-“ Cas barely manages to get out before Dean’s lips are on his, warm an inviting. Cas lets out a small whimper at the feeling before he has both his hands tangled in Deans’ hair, and he’s opening his mouth desperate to feel Deans tongue against his. Dean lets out a small groan as he sucks on Castiel’s tongue, getting wrapped up in the way Castiel’s tongue seems to know all the ways to have Dean panting and moaning. Cas lets out a small whimpering sound from the back of his throat when Dean rolls his hips, slow and deliberate against Cas’; feeling his obvious hard on press against Cas’. Dean is more or less surprised when he’s being flipped over onto his back, no longer above Castiel. He doesn’t have long to ponder it because Cas is sucking and biting along his neck, getting noises out of Dean that he didn’t know he could make.

Castiel knows Dean is probably going to regret this in an hour or two, but he can’t bring himself to care. He’s finally getting what he wanted, so he’s going to enjoy it while he still can. He’s relentlessly sucking and biting at Dean’s collar bone and Dean is groaning and grinding up against him desperate for some kind of friction, he has hands under Cas’ sweater nails scrapping against his back, he’s searching for more skin to skin contact but trying to not push any boundaries; and it’s beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So feedback is GREATLY appreciated. I'm sorry if it seemed a little OOC but who doesn't like Dean being a complete dork??


	6. We're Not Suppose to Talk about It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know. It's not the best but I mean, I tried. In all honesty, I haven't slept in 4 days and 9 hours so excuse me if this chapter completely fucking blows.  
> I was listening to 'Set The Fire to the Third Bar' by Snow Patrol when I wrote this.

 It continues on like that for a few weeks, not putting a label to whatever the hell it is that’s going on between them. Cas likes Dean, he really does. Even the small touches leave behind this sort of feeling, like electricity under his skin. And when things go a lot farther than some innocent touches, full on groping and rutting and everything in between, he feels like he’s on fire. Like Dean is everywhere all at once, and it’s good, really good. He doesn’t try to put a label to it, because he knows that Dean doesn’t _do_ relationships, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t hope Dean will see this as something more than whatever it is now. And on top of that, they never really talked about it. Yeah there was the awkward ‘oh god what happens now’ but other than that; they’ve never actually talked about what this was. They never brought it up to anyone else either, his brother just kind of assumed they were already dating and he doubts Sam every really thought that much into it.

“Hey De- Oh my god,”

He’s being pushed off Dean before he even realizes it, he’s red faced and out of breath, confused until he notices Sam standing in the doorway; looking more than a little confused. Never in his life, has Castiel been so embarrassed, there was nothing fun about being caught in a more than compromising position. He manages to catch Deans’ eye once, the look on his face somewhere between embarrassment, regret, and just plain uncomfortable. If he thought the incident in the third grade was bad, then this was fucking nuclear. He can’t seem to get out of the room quick enough, looking for his shirt (which he didn’t even realize was off until now) and trying to button his pants while trying to put his shoes on all at the same time seems fucking impossible at this point. He doesn’t look at Dean, doesn’t even register what he’s saying to Sam; he’s just trying to leave.

He manages an “Oh my god I am so sorry,” before pushing passed Sam and taking the stairs two at a time trying to get the hell out of this house. He swears he hears Dean calling his name but he can’t turn around now, he’s so close to the front door, just a few more steps then he can get to his car and go home.

“Cas, damn it, _where are you going_?” Dean demanded, grabbing hold of his wrist. Don’t turn around, keep your eyes on the door and you’ll be fine, Castiel thinks to himself.

“I’m going to my car, then I’m taking that car to go home; which is generally what you do when you’re _leaving_ from somewhere.” Cas stated dryly, eyes still focused on the door.

“Well no shit, I mean _why_ are you leaving?”

“Beca-“

“For fucks sake would you just look at me?” Castiel slowly, but surely turned to face Dean, patience wearing thin.

“Because I know you’re already regretting what just happened--hell what _almost_ happened, the fact that we don’t even have a name for wha-,”Cas cuts himself short, wishing those words didn’t come out of his mouth,” I don’t want to be here anymore, I just really don’t want to deal with this right now. Okay?”

“No, not okay. You can’t just walk out after what just happened!”

“Wanna bet?”

“Look Cas, you’re right, I do regret it, it almost went too far, but you got to hear me out-“

“I honestly don’t need you to finish that sentence because it’s the last thing I want to hear.”

“So I kissed you, big fucking deal, none of this has meant anything anyway! Are you really upset because as soon as someone finds out, we have no way to explain ourselves, because you’re not my fucking boyfriend or something? Let’s just just-“

Cas is walking out the front door before Dean can even finish his sentence, he’s running to his car before he even gets down to the sidewalk. His hands are shaking and he can feel a headache coming on, but none of that matters because he just needs to get home yesterday.

Dean doesn’t even try to stop him; he just sort of...stands there. Not necessarily in a state of shock but something pretty damn close to it. Dean Winchester doesn’t do relationships, never has and probably never will. But that doesn’t stop that feeling like he’s done something really fucking stupid, to be honest, he feels like a complete dick. He could tell that Cas liked him, he’s not fucking oblivious, but that first kiss was a spur of the moment thing; it wasn’t meant to go that far. He wasn’t meant to get wrapped up in it, and it damn sure wasn’t supposed to lead to something like this. From where he is, he can see Cas fumbling with his keys desperately trying to unlock his car door. He decides that if he isn’t going to stop Cas, that he should at least close the god damn front door; so that’s exactly what he does. It seems to be the only logically thing he’s done all day, seeing as he couldn’t even stop himself from saying things that he didn’t even mean. Dean turns around, ready to just go back to his room and bang his head against the nearest hard surface; but of course, Dean never gets his way. Sam’s standing there, purposely blocking the stairs, looking like he’s four seconds away from smacking Dean in the face. Dean swears Sam only blinks once, eyes boring into his, unwilling to look away telling Dean that he’s going to listen to what he has to say; and he’ll just have to deal with it. Minutes pass and it’s completely silent, the kind of silent that makes you think your ears are ringing, the kind of silent that’s charged full with anger and the sound of someone else’s breathing.

“Do you know how much of a dumbass you are?” Sam asks voice short and clipped.

“Yes.” Dean knows the quickest way to get this over with is to keep his answers short and to the point, hoping to god someone lets this pass so he can just go to his room.

“Why didn’t you go after him –“

“- he wouldn’t eve-“

“-it’s obvious he’s upset and you just let him walk out, what the hell Dean?”

“Sa-“

“No, that’s the guy you wouldn’t stop talking about for days and then something happens and he freaks out and you don’t even try and go after him? I don’t know what happened before I got home, and I kind of don’t want to, but clearly you guys have to sort out some stuff; and that means actually talking to him.”

“Well clearly I know that Sam.” Dean’s annoyed, he doesn’t need his brother lecturing him about how much he’s fucked things up, he really doesn’t.

“Well clearly you don’t _Dean_ , seeing as you didn’t stop him from walking out the damn door, now did you?” Sam lets out in a sigh, bitchface still in full effect.

“Okay, look I get that I fucked up okay, I said things I didn’t mean but I wasn’t thinking at the time. I’ll talk to him on Monday or something, god.”

“And what if he still doesn’t want to talk to you, what then?”

“Then...then I don’t know, I’ll try anything I can.”

“You’re an idiot, you know that.”

“It’s been proven more times then I’d like to admit.”

“Jerk,”

“Bitch,” Dean lets out as he’s finally able to push past Sam to get to the stairs, dying to get to his room.

“God he’s helpless,” Sam mutters under his breath.

 

‘I’ll kill him,’ is the first thing out Luc’s mouth when he sees Cas’ face. He’s not sure why or when he started crying – it seemed completely pointless seeing as he knew it’d end up like this at some point but well, yeah.

“Luc its fine just...let it go.” Cas mumbles, wishing his face wasn’t so fucking red.

“No I’m not going to just ‘let it go’, you go over there all happy and antsy and then you come back home in tears! What the hell happened?” Lucifer demands. In all honesty, he looks like he’s about to pop a blood vessel; his brother has a bit of a temper, he knows this, but it’s still surprising at times. Cas just sort of opens and closes his mouth, not sure how to answer. Because obviously it wasn’t nothing, he’s covered in hickies for fucks sake and this _thing_ has been going on for weeks.

“Just leave it, please.”

“No, damn it, tell me what happened!”

“I’d rather go to bed, honestly.”

“Castiel, tell me what happened.” Luc has only ever used his full name when he was either angry or concerned. The fact that he looked like he was close to snapping someone’s neck and also wanting to hide Castiel away in a blanket fort was pretty serious.

“He didn’t mean any of it okay? He regre-“That’s about as far as he got before he was being pushed face first into his brothers’ chest. He was crying all over again, he felt like a fucking 15 year old girl getting dumped for the first time. Which is just hilarious seeing as he and Dean weren’t even really dating. Castiel hates the fact that he let himself get wrapped up in it, he feels like a fool. What kind of moron let’s himself get into a situation like that, with a person he _actually_ has feelings for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even gonna ask for feedback because I'm honestly expecting no comments; or a bunch of them being really asshole-ish. So yeah.


	7. New Perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /sighs forever/ Yeah so apparently I have to finish this so expect more chapters I guess. This would have been uploaded earlier, but school exist so I mean. Anyway. Chapter 7.  
> Also, the chapter title has nothing to do with the actual chapter.

Castiel was doing a pretty good job at hiding from Dean. He’s had to hide from many people, so he’s had lots of practice. But it was a hell of a lot easier avoiding people when you didn’t have class with them; it lessens the chances of them bumping into you.  Cas didn’t have that advantage. The fact that him and Dean both had the same block of lunch and two class periods together, was making Castiel antsy and on his toes at all times. His main goal was to make sure there was virtually no way that Dean could get him alone, he doesn’t have many friends but he figures it shouldn’t be too hard to manage.

Except for the fact that the only available seat in his Lit class was directly behind Dean, why was life so cruel sometimes? Cas quickly sat down in his seat, getting out his notebook and a pen, desperate to start on the warm up rather than stare at the back of Dean’s head for 15 minutes. All he had to do was make it through this class, and then he’d be free to roam during lunch, and hopefully avoid Dean.

He was fidgety to say the least. Always trying to sneak a look in without seeming like any of this was bothering him. Which, to be honest, was probably adding fuel to the fire that was this entire ... _thing_ between them. Dean knew he was in the wrong, but he’s not the type to apologize. So instead of giving in to the urges to turn around and blatantly stare at Cas until he could memorize every little detail, he sat a little straighter and continued to do his work. To be honest, this thing was bothering him more than he ever imagined.  He figured that if whatever was between them was to stop, that he’d be fine, a little sad but fine nonetheless. But instead, the fact that Cas isn’t by his side is gnawing at the back of his mind, and now theirs this hole where Cas should be; but is instead filled with...nothing.

And in every passing moment that he didn’t get the chance to even just _look_ at Cas, made that hole grow and grow. The plan was to come to school today and apologize for how much of an asshole he is, and ask for another chance. But Dean knows Cas, yeah not as much as he’d like to admit, but he knows enough about him to know that Cas wouldn’t accept that and (more or less) tell him to go fuck himself. Dean sighed, laying his head on this arms, trying to resist the urge to bang his head against his desk until he either: a) he came up with a way to make Cas forgive him, b) found out how to make a time machine to go back and stop him from being an asshole, or c) he lands in a coma. And at the moment, he doesn’t know which one sounds better.

“Winchester! No sleeping in my class.” The teacher boomed from somewhere to his right.

“Sorry sir,” Dean mumbled, lifting his head from his arms. God, Dean hated this class; the teacher was probably the biggest douche on the planet.

“As I was saying, this project needs to be completed by the end of this month. I’m giving you 5 weeks to get this done, so this better be the best quality project I have ever seen, or you’re going to have to take a zero. I’ve already assigned you partners,” the class groaned, “so just sit tight so we can get this over with.”

Dean was not looking forward to any of this, but he didn’t let that be known.

“Novak, you’re with Alastair.” It seemed like all the air was sucked from the room. Castiel was freaking out, he couldn’t be paired with Alastair, that...that wasn’t right. Anyone but Alastair, hell he’d rather be partners with Dean than be stuck with Alistair for a month. He knew Alastair was still pissed over the fact that he got suspended, and that made it even worse.

“Coach, I’m allergic to fags, can I get a new partner.” Alastair snickered, a wave of laughter filling the class.

“Why don’t you just shut the fuck up.” The first words Dean had spoken, that wasn’t mumbled at a teacher or him mumbling to himself as he read something in class, had been him sticking up for Cas; so the wave of silence that fell over the class was completely justified.

“Was I talking to you Winchester?” Alastair shoots back, looking angrier then Cas had ever seen him.

“If you’re talking to Cas, then you’re talking to me.” Dean says, staring at Alastair like he’s four seconds away from kicking him in the mouth. Which I mean, wouldn’t surprise anyone at this point.

“Dean, just let it go.” Cas mumbles, just wanting this whole thing to be over

“No, Cas I’m not just going to let it go, he’s a dick!” Dean exclaimed, turning around to shoot a look at Cas, as if he’d lost his mind.

“I said to just let it go.” Cas huffed, annoyance evident in his voice. He appreciates Dean sticking up for him, but this is just making everything worse.

“Aw, are you guys having problems? Lemme guess, Cas left your sorry ass didn’t he?” Alastair sneered, smirk playing on his lips.

“Enough! It’s obvious this isn’t going to work. Winchester you’re with Novak, Alastair go pair up with Gordon; end of discussion.” Castiel sighed with relief as the bell rung, packing up, desperate to get as far away as he could. He was half way down the hall before Dean caught up with him.

“Why do you let him say stupid shit like that Cas?” Dean demanded, as he walked to keep up with him. Cas knows the silent treatment was old, but it was effective. Dean must have got the hint because he didn’t say anything after that, just followed Cas to where ever he was walking. Before Cas could turn to get into the quad, he was being yanked into an empty classroom he didn’t even realize was there.

“What the f-“

“Look I’m sorry Cas, okay.” Dean blurted out as soon as the door closed behind him. That was all he could say, he just had to let Cas know that he didn’t mean it.

“Just because you apologize, doesn’t mean that everything is magically fixed. Now move so I can go to lunch.” Cas moved to open the door, but is blocked to no avail.

“I know that Cas, I knew what I said was fucked up, and I didn’t mean it. I need you to forgive me.” Dean pleaded. He looked sad, and sincere; but Cas wasn’t about to forgive him that quickly.

“I’m sure you do,” Cas sneered, not being able to hide how annoyed he was getting with this entire situation, “But I’m not just going to jump back into this just because you think that by apologizing you’ll get to-“

“Cas, it’s not like that,” Dean cut in, looking offended and more than a little pissed that Cas thought that he was only apologizing so he could start getting laid again.

“Then how is it _Dean_?” Cas snapped, “Because I thought it all meant something, had some type of significance to you, but then I was proved wrong. So please enlighten me so I know what the hell to expect.”

“Cas, it honest to god wasn’t like that. I wasn’t using you,” Cas mumbled something that sounded a lot like ‘bullshit’ under his breath, “I put that on everything, Cas. I really wasn’t. And yeah okay maybe the first time I kissed you was a spur of the moment thing, but I didn’t regret it, I still don’t. I like you Cas, way more than I could ever comprehend. You mean a hell of a lot to me; I realized that these last few days. I know I’m an asshole, and that I fuck up everything I care about, I’m sorry. I’m trying to work on that, I really am. I can’t let it end like this okay, hell I can’t let it end all. I just need you to forgive me, that’s all I’m asking.” Dean finishes, not sure if it got it all out in the right order because the words are all jumbled together in his head.

Five minutes pass and Cas is still silent, not saying a word, just staring at Dean in that way he’s so fond of. Dean is doing his best to just keep his eyes on his shoes, too scared to see Cas’ reaction to his words. He hears a sigh and a shuffle of feet, knowing that Cas is walking toward him; but he doesn’t dare look up. Theirs a hand on his cheek, it’s warm and inviting. Cas lifts Dean’s head until he’s actually looking him in the eye.

“Dean, I forgive you okay?” Cas mumbles, fingers rubbing along the back of Dean’s neck. It’s nice, relaxing even. “But I don’t think we should-“

“Yeah, yeah I understand what you mean.” Dean’s just happy that they were able to get this sorted out, but that doesn’t mean that things are magically perfect again just because Cas forgave him. “So does this mean I can’t kiss you anymore?” Dean asked, a smirk on his lips.

“Well...” Cas trailed of, seeming to contemplate it. And then there’s lips on his own, warm and soft against his. And for a moment, everything seems right in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know


	8. Biting Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess this is more of a filler chapter??? I don't know anymore  
> title from Biting Down by Lorde

As it turns out, when you miss someone as much as Dean missed Cas; one kiss quickly turns to two, then three, and then someone’s being pinned against a wall and it sort of snowballs from there.

His hands are tangled in Cas’ hair, pulling lightly every so often that he gets these groans from Cas, and it’s addicting. He lets one hand out of Cas’ hair, to trail it down his back instead. He works the shirt from Cas’ pants, and breaks the kiss leaving a trail of kisses from Cas’ jaw to the front of his throat; sucking lightly at the skin in the center of his neck. Cas has to cover his mouth with his hand to stop from moaning to loud, but it’s a lost cause. His hands are heading towards the button on Cas’ pants, he can’t stand the thought of him keeping those jeans on any longer. For fucks sake they look like they were painted on, and Cas is here right in front of him. What else is he supposed to do? By the time Dean actually gets the button undone, Cas seems to have snapped out of his daze.

“Dean what are you doing?” Cas’ voice is husky, he’s panting for breath and still has one hand in Dean’s hair.

“Making it up to you,” Dean mumbles, hands going for the zipper on his pants. Cas has his head against the wall, neck bared to Dean for the taking. “You do want this right? Feel free to tell me when you want me to stop.” Dean whispers in his ear, teeth just grazing shy of the shell. He knows how it drives Cas crazy, so what better way to apologize then whip out some of the many things he’s cataloged about Cas and his body? Dean still doesn’t move his hand from its place on Cas’ jeans. He’s not going to continue until he gets a straight answer from him, what Cas wants is important to him, and he’s not going to fuck everything up all over again because he’s hard as a rock in his jeans and he has roaming hands. Not today. Dean barely hears Cas’ answer, it’s shy and cut off. “What was that?” Dean asks, not sure of the answer heard.

“I said, not here. I want to, god I want to, but just...not in here. I’m so sorry.” Cas is blushing now, hiding his head in hands.

“It’s fine Cas, you don’t have to apologize for anything.” Dean says, pressing a kiss to Cas’ forehead before stepping away completely.

“I missed you, in case you haven’t figured that out already.” Cas mumbles, a small smile tugging at his lips. He kisses Dean one more time; it’s a slow sensual kiss, before he pulls away completely. He makes sure that he buttons his pants and at least attempts to straighten out his shirt before he leaves the room.

Dean waits at least five minutes before leaving the room behind Cas. He’d managed to slow down his breathing to that of someone who was not fooling around in an abandoned class room during lunch. He’s not sure where Cas went exactly, but he’s knows that he’s probably going to see him again before he goes home, so he’s not really worried. Dean lets out a sigh before going off to find his friends, hopefully they haven’t left already; he’d hate to have to explain why he was late to lunch.

Cas goes the rest of his day with a small smile on his face, happy to have made up with Dean. He’s still not fully sure why he accepted Dean’s apology, but he did, and he’s holding on to this with his last bit of hope. He’s tired of making excuses for Dean and his half thought out actions. Castiel nearly jumps out of his skin as Gabriel seems to just materialize out of nothing, right in front of his face.

“Why are you so smiley? Did you get some in the supply closet or something?” Gabriel asks, eating a lollipop more graphically then necessary.

“No, and god who starts a conversation like that?” Castiel asks, cringing slightly. He has a habit of making situations worse by giving Gabriel incentive to try and out due himself because of his non-existent brain to mouth filter.

“Oh come on Cassidilla-“

“-Oh my god, never call me that again-“

“I could have said something a lot worse, we both know it.”

“Touché,” Cas mumbles as he continues to put his books in his locker, trading them out for his sketch books and pencils.

“Anyway Cassie, do you happen to know anyone of the name Dean Winchester?” Castiel’s groan over another god forsaken nickname was cut short at the mention of Dean. Why did Gabriel care if he knew him?

“Yeah, I’ve heard of him...why?” Cas asked hesitantly, not trying to let all of his curiosity pour into the question. The last thing he needs is Gabriel getting the magical idea that he has a thing for Dean, hell Gabriel assumes everyone has a thing for everyone; no matter how ridiculous or out of the blue.

“Well you know how Dean broke up with Lisa not that long ago,” the only response Cas gives is a faint nod,” rumor has it that he’s already dating someone else, though no one knows who yet. Lisa is pissed, like big time; she even has Adam all riled up, he’s talking about how when he sees Dean that he’s gonna make him pay.” Gabriel finishes excitedly, a faint smile on his face. Cas’ isn’t too sure where Gabriel would fall on the whole “I’m dating Dean Winchester” spectrum, but he sure isn’t eager to find out anytime soon. Cas just lets out a somewhat shaky breath and just attempts to play it cool, whatever ‘cool’ might be.

“Well...sucks for him and whoever he might be dating.” Cas says, little to no real emotion on his face.

“Yeah, anyway I’ll see you later Cassandra.” Gabriel retorts, ruffling Cas’ hair before skipping down the hallway, literally _skipping_. Cas just groans as he slams his locker closed, deciding that he’s had enough social interaction for one day, thank you very much. Cas almost lets out a yelp as he nearly turns and walks right into Deans’ chest.

“God what is up with people just randomly popping up all over the place?” Cas says, regaining his breath. Dean just lets out a small chuckle, before looking behind him, then swooping down to plant a soft kiss on Cas’ mouth. Cas doesn’t even have time to let out a surprised sound before Dean is leaning back, acting as if he almost didn’t expose them to the rest of school.

“What the hell was that?” Cas asked, startled and checking to make sure no one saw anything.

“I just felt like kissing you, that’s all. What I can’t kiss you anymore or something?” Dean asks, a bit of worriedness evident in his face. Cas just sighs and leans back against his locker.

“No, it’s not that it’s just...never mind.” Cas mumbles, deciding to pick at the hem of his washed-out t-shirt instead of forming an actual fucking sentence. “Just forget about it, please?”

“Already forgotten,” the emotion that flashes through his eyes say otherwise but Cas knows he’s trying. “Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight, just to like hang out or whatever?” Dean finishes with some half-assed attempt at dispelling any nervousness from his face.

“I actually think Luc might want me to come straight home today, something about a talk that we needed to have.” Cas wasn’t actually quite sure if that was the exact reason, to be fair, he was half asleep and had been up the night before crying and watching American Horror Story. Luc could have told him they were moving to Peru, and Cas would have probably just nodded along as if he was able to comprehend anything coming from his brothers’ mouth.

“Oh,” Dean spoke, trying to hide his obvious disappointment. “Well maybe next time?” He asked eyes full of hope, and chewing absently at his lip.

“Yeah, next time.” Cas smiled,” Well I have to head to art, so um, I’ll text you... I guess?” Cas asked hesitantly.

“Oh yeah sure, well um bye Cas,” Dean finished, looking around once more before pressing a quick kiss to Cas’ mouth, and walking off. It probably wouldn’t matter how many times they kissed, Cas’ stomach still seemed to fill with butterflies and walk away with a smile on his lips.

God he was hopeless.

This whole situation scared the hell out of him; he’d have to be dumb not to see the signs. But he’s giving Dean a second chance for a reason, hell he’s giving himself a second chance. It wasn’t only Dean’s fault that this thing went downhill; it was just as much his fault. He’s the one who was too wrapped up in Dean to realize how much it was hurting him to keep thinking he was something important, without any real indication. And now, this was a chance for them both to get a fresh start, he couldn’t hold that over Dean’s head forever. But Cas knows what he wants out of this...he knows, okay? And if things get bad, he’s going to leave. Yeah, he’ll stick through it all, but he refuses to put himself in the same position again.

Hell, he doesn’t _have_ to text Dean when he gets home. He doesn’t _have_ to hang out with him, or give him kisses, or anything at all. He’s not in that deep. He can still leave if he needs to. He can still leave before anything gets too real, too intense for him. He can still leave before either of them gets hurt.

Right?


End file.
